My mom arrived home from a trip and she brought two novels. I was hooked with James Patterson's Sail and was able to finish it in less than a week. What happened to the other novel? I wasn't interested in it because it was a science fiction and gave it to a classmate in high school who liked the genre. I don't have the copy of the first novel I mentioned because I lent it to someone last 2018 and he hasn't returned the book yet. 

In high school, I had this streak in which I can read a book per day and I haven't noticed that until the librarian noticed how a fast reader I was so on that very day, she stamped a 24-hour deadline on the book I borrowed. Oh well, unfortunately, I wasn't able to finish it right away. I guess it was the pressure but I can still remember that day clearly, I was pretty busy in class and wasn't able to read. It was no longer fun. 

How old am I during these times? 13! 

I became a 4-eyed person when I was 16 and I'm already 23 so do the math. I'd hear from colleagues that I'm too young to have blurry vision and maybe the cause was my usage of technology but nope, I used to read in a dark corner of my room the whole day. Back then, it was okay for me as long as I can still read and I just realized that seeing things from a distance was getting difficult. At first, my mom wouldn't believe me because I'm still young so we had an eye check-up, and guess what, both of us have blurry vision. Plus, it's in the genes. 

I wasn't a bookworm when I was a kid. Yeah, I'd read but I couldn't call myself a bookworm at that time. So how did I develop the love for the printed word? By having a mom who would discuss the Harry Potter books with me and I couldn't contribute anything to the discussion so I got curious and started reading it. From that day on, I became a Potterhead. Thanks, mom!

One of my goals if ever I become a mom is to let my kids see me reading because in some way, they'll copy me and reading is such a good drug. *winks*

I grew up in a province that doesn't have a bookstore but I was able to read more novels by borrowing books from people of all ages. I guess this is how I was able to deal with different genres. After finishing my studies in high school, we moved to another province that doesn't have a bookstore. It was only years later that I was able to discover local stores selling a mix of brand new and secondhand books. Anyway, so during that time, the possible thing that I could have a chance to read a novel was ordering it through Book Depository, borrowing books from the school library, and downloading e-books. 

I used to have a blog on Tumblr about my life and book reviews. Every time I'd finish a book, I'd post a review about it. Through that, I was able to turn my blog into what I was dreaming of what a blog should be especially I follow blogs with the same niche. In my third year of college, a fellow bibliophile sent me a message asking what were my preferred genres and the address of where to send the books she'll be giving me. She was giving me books because I inspired her through my blog and I never knew that someone appreciated my thoughts and writings. One of the things that I miss on Tumblr is the appreciation that I'd receive from time to time that the online space that I established as an escape inspired them. 

Do I have any plans on making book reviews in the future? Yes. I am slowly trying to compose my thoughts and make them into solid reviews just like old times. *fingers crossed*

My college best friend, Lyka, would receive books from her boyfriend or from anyone and I'd read the books first. After reading, I'd tell her my thoughts about it. I'd judge it and that's how she decides if she's going to read it or not. I weigh both the good and the bad of each book she lent me. 

I had guy friends in college that would ask me what books to buy for their girlfriends. I had college friends who would ask me what e-book reader is best to use. I had friends who would ask me what to read and what are my thoughts about it without spoiling them. 

I had this huge obsession with buying any book that I could find that was published by Penguin Random House. 

I've always wanted to be a librarian so I could be surrounded by silence and books. I also have the opportunity to read more of both old and newly published books. Can someone hire me to read a book the whole day? 

I used to own more than a hundred books composed of novels and autobiographies. The majority of them were read and obviously, my to-be-read list is pretty long. However, due to minimalism, I gave away some of the books I've already read and had no plans to keep because I wanted them to be read and touched by many instead of collecting dust. I think the purpose of the book ceases to exist when it's just being kept on a shelf. 

I've always dreamt of having a Kindle and received one from my boyfriend on my birthday last year. Yay! I cried. Every time I'd read a book on my Kindle, it'd remind me of how loving and supportive my boyfriend is so I could read more. When I started working in the corporate world, I had less time to read and it was such a struggle and painful that sometimes, I'd cry and tell him that I wanted to read so bad but I was always exhausted or there was a reason on why I can't do it. If I can remember it correctly, I cried happy tears twice because of books. Obviously. First, he surprised me with a set of Dan Brown's books and his reason was "just because". Second, the Kindle. 

I used to hide the fact that I was a bookworm. I thought that people would find me weird and nerdy which is true the majority of the time but meeting people who have the same interests as mine which is reading a lot made me open to the fact that I shouldn't be ashamed of it. As a bookworm, we hold great power through knowledge and no one should belittle us because not all people have the patience to read a book. Aside from traveling, reading makes us richer. I always see the printed word as an investment. 

I am grateful to those who lent and gave me books and even discussed the printed word with me in the past because, in one way or another, you contributed a percentage of who and what I am right now. 

I enjoyed oversharing these facts and maybe I'd share more next time. Haha! What are your bookish facts? 

First impressions don't last, huh? They tend to prove the other person wrong or maybe not. It's a case-to-case basis but on my part, majority of the people I met has the same first impression that I am hard to please but once they've broken all the walls I built, they'd realize that it's the other way around. It only takes a simple effort to do so.

It has already been years that I don't have a boyfriend to constantly greet me with all those sweet poetic messages but if my friends or just simply anyone would greet me or send me a text, I'd be so happy! I'd be smiling from ear to ear already. It only takes seconds to tell someone how special they are to you and we have 24 hours and seven days a week to do that so you better go get that phone and make someone's day. *winks*

I also do the same way to friends and relatives even though some won't reply but at least, it would remind them that I still want to keep in touch and  obviously, I'm alive, kicking, having a social life, and not living under a rock.

In another note, those 'text me when you arrive home' kind of friends are for keeps. 

Just because reasons are simply the best. It reminds me how a person cherishes the friendship between us. It seems like I'm an interesting person or I have this special space in his/her life that he/she has considered buying this cute bookmark just because it reminded him/her of me. Maybe someone took a picture of him/herself and sent it to me just because he/she wants to show off how amazingly gorgeous he/she is. I also like it when a friend sends me something and would say 'sending you this just because I want to be with you but we can't so here ya go, wish you were here'. Awwwwe, a nice little update. It never fails to fill my stomach with butterflies. 

I have a girl best friend that doesn't have a Facebook account so she's not aware when I have a new picture posted so I'd send it to her just like how I'd like to send my selfies to NASA just because I'm a star! Haha. Jk. 

Saying 'thank you' has always been a good habit of mine. Having a gratitude attitude contributes a huge positive life changing impact to both parties. Once you express how thankful you are to anyone or anything, the other end would feel grateful. 

You could try it when guards open doors for you, when the waiter cleaned the table, when the cashier gave you the change, or when the bus driver drove safely 'til you reached your destination and other little things. There are so much to be thankful for! Go to the mirror and thank yourself for being an amazing human being!

Also, this goes the same with greeting the people I mentioned above with 'good morning/afternoon/evening' or whatever greeting you have in mind. 

Ah, having deep conversations with someone over a hot cup of coffee/tea or a glass of cold soy milk is something to die for. Now that everything is instant and fast, it's difficult to find someone who would love to let time flow, be with me, and talk about the most random stuff under the blanket of stars. 

Being on bed and cuddling with a good book in hand is such a heavenly way to spend the day. How much more if you find someone with the same interests? I am thankful to have met bookish friends online and offline. You are all the best. 

I once had a project which was called #TheMailProject and I'd send letters around the globe and it makes me so damn happy! I'm happier when I also receive one. My best friend wrote me a letter for my birthday and it made me teary-eyed so despite how advanced our technology is, if you really want to write me a letter, please do. Please write long, sappy love letters filled with romantic clichés. Hahaha! I'm obviously a hopeless romantic.

You

So these are just some of the things that make me all giddy and appreciate life more. How about you? What are your little things?

I always have this struggle to love my body and the image I see every time I look at the mirror. People would say 'You're not that fat', 'You're already beautiful', and other positive things but deep down when my demons don't cooperate with me, it's too much to take. 

There are days that I am well aware of how beautiful I can be inside and out. I thank the genes that runs in the family but there are also days that shit just happens. Despite how beautiful someone can be, it's hypocrite thing to say that we don't have insecurities once in a while. It's also difficult when the body I have doesn't give me the boost. 

Ages ago, I'd exercise for the sake of aesthetics but as my maturity widens, I thought more of the long term benefits that I am going to reap. I don't only think of the physical changes that will occur but also the good changes that will happen inside me like for my mental health. Through that I was able to lose three kilograms in less than a month and next, another two kilograms. Some of you have witnessed my body changes and the struggles I dealt when I was still active in blogging more than a year ago, you could really say I've improved for the better. 

Throughout this journey, I have plenty of fail attempts to just do it and of course, as  a lazy couch potato, I'd say 'it's fine' as an excuse. I deserve rest which is true. Haha!

Take a break, baby.

"I've had a very long, hard day." - Chandler Bing of Friends 

Well, sad to say, it's also bad. 

People who are close to me would know that I am a very private person. It takes a lot of time and patience to let me open up about something but there are stories of my life that I openly share regardless if I'm talking to a stranger or not. It depends on the person I'm talking to. Some say I am an open book. What you see is what you get but some say, I'm unpredictable. They won't know that I'm already being a sarcastic bitch, plain rude, or I'm just teasing. It's a one hell of a crazy journey to get to know me and despite how long the relationship we have, I still have dirty little secrets to keep. 

It's not a restriction of topic when it comes to sharing. I can share with you anything under the sun from personal, stories I've read, knowledge grasped for a time being, period talks, sex, up to the most random of all the random-est topics of all so long as you've passed a standard I made up. 

I've been in the blogosphere for a long time already. I was 13 when I started and now, I'm already 21. Wow, it's been eight years. Eight years of on-and-off relationship with blogging and those eight years involved numerous blog hopping and dropping a comment or two or maybe even more in every blog I stumbled upon. I'm back again with hopping from one blog to another and I came to realize more why keeping my comments open is one of the best decisions I've made. 

Yeah, I may be a private person but I like to keep my comments open for the public without the words 'Your comment is awaiting moderation' despite how unpredictable those comments would be. It's kind of frightening to see a bad comment on my work sitting for how many days already and left being unattended because life gets in the way for me and people would see it thinking 'Fuck, she has this bad comment.' but at least, I was able to start a conversation. I have two options: 1) to have a healthy conversation with this person who dropped this rude comment or 2) just delete it. So far, I haven't received such thing and hope it continues. 

Bloggers tend to click let my comments be approved first before displaying it but it doesn't work for me that way as time passed by. As a blog reader, it discourages me to post another comment once I dropped one and saw 'your comment is awaiting moderation' because I don't know whether I dropped a well-meant comment despite how many times I've already read and checked it before clicking the post button. It also discourages me because I don't know if it would even be published so obviously, my efforts would go to waste. Not only my efforts but my own naked thoughts. Once I also knew that moderation thing going on, I'd be discouraged to reply to other people's comments even though I have something to say because of what I've said earlier and I don't even know when this blogger would post my comment. Who knows by the time a blogger post my comment it would already be irrelevant at the time because we all know that people change, right?

When I've read an interesting blog post, I'd definitely drop a comment and share it but sometimes having this moderation thing going on could hold me back on sharing it. Maybe because I'll be waiting for your approval and of course, maybe that would take a day or maybe months and obviously, I already have forgotten that particular sensual post. There's also a high chance that I won't even received a notification that my comment was already approved.

I won't deny that I've tried moderating my comments to experiment things but later on, kept it open because all comments would just be posted anyway regardless of how good or bad that comment was. I don't want my blog readers be restricted by the flow of comments with the way how I am active with this blog. I want them to let their thoughts flow regardless I went missing in action.

It could be humiliating to receive a bad comment and if I'll receive one, I'd even question my life's existence and how bad I really am as a human being but that's life. We don't tend to get all the rainbows. We can't have everything. It's up to us how to handle those nasty words (if there's any).

Don't even start with 'You have to register first.' Seriously? I'm out! Nice blog, though. 

Believe it or not. Majority of my days are spent living with no internet and it has been more than a year already and still counting that I am living with this kind of life. How is this possible? For starters, I don't have an internet connection at home. It's not because my family and I can't afford it but because the internet provider couldn't provide any in our place. Yes, this is the reason why it took me more than a year to get back to blogging but as what I've said earlier, I still don't have the internet connection to pursue this passion at home so I am doing this outside my comfort zone.

It was difficult to live a life without it especially for me, when majority of my work was spent using it like blogging, doing research and school related stuff, entertaining myself, and socializing. Back then, my only source of internet is when I go to a friend's house, at a public place, and at school. Now, I couldn't be bothered if there's internet or not in a public place. Although, I try to connect when I'm at a friend's house just to update my apps and post a selfie or two or maybe more just to say that I'm still alive and cute. Haha! There were days that my mom and I will try to register internet promos but it would last a day or two and sometimes it would just go to waste because who would have the time to spend a day or two just looking at their screens and be consumed by it?

During those times when we registered an internet promo, I'd feel guilty every time I'd spend a long time catching up and gave myself the excuse 'give yourself time on the internet because you've been deprived from it'. It works for me in some ways but I'd feel so bad at the end because it was totally a waste of my time. Why would I catch up on what's happening with other people's lives when they wouldn't even give a damn what's happening on my life? Missing out a lot was a fear but as time passed by, I wouldn't even care. 

Living  a life with no internet connection is liberating. It changes how you look at life and it links to a life of minimalism, which you focus on what matters. If I have a chance to connect, I focus on one thing at a time. If it's Facebook, it would only be Facebook. If it's Youtube, it's only Youtube. I'd list down mentally the things I'd be doing if I'm plugged to the internet. I unsubscribed to a lot of people on Youtube a year or two ago and remained those who will contribute valuable insights in to my life and it helps greatly for my self-growth and evaluation. In a way, it makes the whole activity fun,  productive and fruitful.

There would be outings and spontaneous dates with friends and I wouldn't even care to take out my phone because I'd rather live in the moment than be disconnected from them unless if it's time for picture taking. That's one thing I learned from a life with no internet. You get to socialize more and be connected with the people around you and it makes the whole moment wonderful and worth cherishing. 

When I started this kind of life, I became more aware of the things I'd post on social media if ever I'll have a date with the internet. When I'm out, I'd only take pictures that are worthy than take pictures just for the sake of it like how I used to take pictures with no sense just to update my IG stories or snaps. I know some of you would now evaluate whether you do take snaps or stories with the just because mindset. In fact, the last story I posted on Facebook was last April and I was showing the progress I had with my fitness journey.

Every time I'd post something on my social media accounts, I ask myself 'Is this worthy of my time, of my freedom to post this for the whole world to see?' If it's not, don't even bother. 

I am less distracted now compared before. When I talk to people, I look at them eye to eye than facing my phone. When people talk, I'd do the same and be all ears on what they're saying. However, I have this talent if I'm not in the mood or uninterested to listen, I wouldn't even hear what you're saying. 

It was such a crazy roller coaster ride living without it because I was able to concentrate on things I've been wanting to do for a long time already. I got more time for reading last year and I was able to finish my reading challenge for only six months if I'm not wrong. Then, just this summer I decided to do something huge and it was to focus on my fitness journey. Along with my minimalism journey through decluttering stuff, I was able to evaluate the clothes I had and even though I can replace them with my former size (I was a bit chubby before), I rejected the idea. I didn't want to spend on clothes just because I got bigger and I always had a constant battle with myself every time I feel insecure, fat, and heavy. So the clothes I still wanted to keep and wear were one of my motivators to exercise. 

I lost three kilograms in less than a month. How did I do it? I exercise, eat nutritious food, and ditch the food that  won't do me any good physically and mentally. I still eat fast food but not in a regular basis and it would be a once in a blue moon thing so I won't deprive myself. Do I still look for junk? Hmm, not anymore. 

My snacks at home and at work are healthier than ever before. I usually give time for making my snacks and if I don't have the time, raw vegetables are the way to go. As of the moment, I lost another two kilograms.

As a summary, I did a lot of self-discovery, improvement and growth!

Along with this drastic yet wonderful change in my life, minimalism came. It helped me realize a lot. 

• Now that I'm already working and my family and I are moving to a new place for the nth time, we think that there'd be a possibility that there would be an internet connection and there are times I think that I really don't need it. However, I may consider applying for one for my Mom and myself, of course, and balancing my life with it again could be pretty challenging. But I also don't like having it anyway so there would less bills to pay. 
• You'd discover who your true friends are when you take a time off from the internet especially if it's a long one. You'll see who will be looking for you and you'll highly appreciate them. I have an online friend who I just met on Tumblr four years ago and we stopped communicating when I was already in college. One day, my friends and I planned to meet after work at a friend's house. I really didn't want to open my Twitter account since I haven't been using it for how many months already but I opened it just to see what's on trend and half hoping there would be notifications and DMs and yeah, there was one. From him, from this friend. He was looking for me, wondering why I'm no longer active on social media and he misses me. Awwwwe. I immediately told him to add me on FB and we did a lot of catching up.
•  I missed a lot online. I wasn't updated with the latest trends and news but I was more updated with myself, with my surroundings and the people around me. I have plenty of time on my plate.
• Being busy on the internet or in the offline world doesn't equate to being productive. Are you really being productive or simply wasting gold?
• This isn't an easy journey. There were days and nights I'd cry because I've been missing out a lot. There was this constant battle that it's okay to spend a day just surfing the net because the internet promo would last a day only. There were ups and downs but all worth it. It changed me for the better.

As a bibliophile, having my own library is the ultimate dream. I always tell my mom and the people I knew that it is one of my goals to have a number of books that will form a bookish paradise. I guess all bookworms can totally relate. So in order to achieve that goal, my mom supported me. During book shopping, my mom would help me buy the most interesting reads she could ever find from the sea of sale. Even people I knew would gift me the same thing and I highly appreciate them if the book is published by Penguin. I don't even know why I have this huge fascination with this publishing house. It's beyond happiness if I could ever find a treasure at a very affordable or the lowest price unimaginable.

So far, I am quite enjoying sharing links here on my blog that sparked my interest and I hope whoever you are find these links interesting just as much as I enjoyed looking for something worth my time to read. 

When I went back to blogging, I felt that I already have a short span of attention and concentration. I blame myself for not reading books that much anymore. I couldn't even finish a novel within a month. As a bibliophile, it's such a shame to neglect my love for books for a long time and find it a struggle to even find time to read and instead of reading, I opt for watching TV series or movies. I try my best to get back on track, though. 

Losing my interest in reading books caused to lose my interest or the patience to read long blog posts, news, or whatever it is unless my brain finds it fascinating. Sometimes I'd even ask myself, "Is blogging dying?" To overcome this problem, I form a habit of reading the news, do some blog hopping, and read a few pages of an ebook every morning when I arrive here in the office or when I have the luxury to do it.

Anyway, here are the links that I've read throughout the week or previous weeks which made me took down notes on my planner to help me in some way especially with all the adulting stuff going on in my life.

A Less-Is-More Guide To Finance

Wealth means having enough. It means financial stability and the freedom to take the kind of risks in life that lead toward real happiness. When you're trapped in debt, it's hard to improve your circumstances and therefore impossible to pay attention to what matters most. 

I don't have any debt yet and I don't want to have it in the near future unless I'm investing on something big like a house and lot which is totally worth it so I hope Matt will help you financially through his minimalist outlook towards money.  

How do you budget/save your money?

Go Broke or Go Ugly?

Writing was one of my insecurities and still is, but not in a greater scale now. Although, I might think that you're a better writer than me once in a while but I think that's a normal thing for an evolving individual. Of all talents that the world could provide for a human being, writing has always been a huge fascination for me. Why? Writers change lives just as much as other profession can but for me, words have an impact to all and it lives forever.

If you've been an avid reader of my previous blogs, you know well how much I love reading. May it be books, newspapers, or anything so long as it's readable. I like reading the news and it has already become a habit that I have to read the latest articles from Google News here in the office or even it's not the latest. If I'm interested, then, the reading begins. 

I walked slowly from home to the bus stop this morning while thanking the Universe for not making it rain for the time being. Halfway down the path, I looked at my watch and walked a bit faster. I stopped, checked my right and left, and crossed the road and goody, there's a bus arriving. "Thank you for this bus", whispered to the Universe. Also grateful for the seat available and I didn't have to stand since the ride.

As I sat here in my corner of the office while drinking a bottle of hot brewed barako, no sugar and no cream, I am currently experiencing a slight pain on the back of my right shoulder. Then I thought that the backpack with me is the reason why. I carry less than the usual since my minimalist journey but I might say that my bag is heavy due to the food I carry with me for work.

Before I'd bring my own rice and water bottle with me but a lot has changed, even the food being offered at the canteen, so I decided to bring my own lunch and snacks. Although, this would be the first time that I felt my lunch is heavy when in fact, my lunch bag is only composed of food in a 3-layer stainless steel tiffin and my coffee inside a glass bottle.

There are days when I want to give up bringing my lunch so I could carry lesser stuff with me but thinking of the food I'm going to eat by lunch time in the canteen would just be a waste of time and money. It isn't worth my freedom.

On the bright side of opening my lunch bag, getting my tiffin to open it, and putting the home cooked meals on my stainless tray provided in the canteen is such a pleasant view to look at. I can see the efforts my mom made for my delicious lunch and snacks for the afternoon. I can see the efforts I did for the hard-earned money to not go to waste. I can feel that Mother Earth is pleased. I was able to refuse single use plastics but I'd be disappointed with other workmates putting their rice inside a single use transparent plastic. *sigh*

Still, I can't change or persuade someone to stop using them because convenience is what matters most for them but for me, I'd rather sacrifice my convenience for the meantime for the sake of the planet and my health. However, there's a tiny light inside me hoping that someone would change through my actions. Or perhaps, I could gift them a reusable container?

Bringing my own lunch packed in reusable container is so worth it. Worth every effort I do for myself and the planet. Pursuing a zero waste lifestyle was a huge change of path. There are slip ups and challenges along the way but every victory experienced for a zero waste experience results to an indescribable satisfaction.

Are you a zero waster or do you make ways to lessen your waste? Do you bring your own food at work? 

How are you? Long time, no see. Did you miss me? How many years did pass by since the day I left the blogosphere? Hmmm. It was more than a year ago, huh? Am I right? Well, it felt like years. Years of inactivity, years of longing to let my words flow, years of hoping that maybe one day I'll be back in a better situation. 

Hey, look, here I am again attempting to give this blog a life. A life it rightly deserves, a life where my words will be read by many, and a life where I document every struggle and achievement I'll encounter along the way, and a life to engage with people I cherish in-and-out the blogosphere. 

A lot has changed. I barely remember the blogs I used to read and in fact, days before this attempt, I was having a difficult time if I should be blogging again. I still don't have the stable internet connection that could support this passion.

Again, a lot has changed. I grew and pursued a change of lifestyle for a better version of myself. I took the chance of not having an internet connection as a way for me to somehow reach my full potential, discover a new world, and most of all, to find my soul in a world that made me lost. 

I'm still in the journey. I'm still growing but where I am now, I'm grateful for the Universe despite how crazy the whole ride was and it's still is. Lessons were learned along the way, some friendships and relationships meant already nothing in a span of given time, but most of all, through a change of lifestyle, I knew now what matters most and I'm gladly focusing more on that. 

Cheers to this attempt! Hope this won't be the last, though.