Being A Writer | Indie Spirit by Augustin Ra

Writing was one of my insecurities and still is, but not in a greater scale now. Although, I might think that you're a better writer than me once in a while but I think that's a normal thing for an evolving individual. Of all talents that the world could provide for a human being, writing has always been a huge fascination for me. Why? Writers change lives just as much as other profession can but for me, words have an impact to all and it lives forever.

During my grade school years, writing activities were my thing. I didn't care if my grammar sucks so long as I was letting my thoughts flow. Since I was a kid and even until now, I still keep a journal and write all my scattered thoughts. I even made my own alphabet so no one could ever read what I was writing. I still can remember that I was in 3rd grade at that time. Thinking about it, I realized that I'd make any way just to make writing a possibility for me.

I always dreamed of being a writer especially a published author but insecurities like not being a master of excellent grammar intimidates me. There are also times I'd think if there are people out there who would love to read my writings just as much as keeping up with this blog. However, life goes on and I don't think of my insecurities that much but reverse it into a positive thing. Having those flaws didn't stop me from doing what I love so much. It made me pursue more despite being a published author is still a distant dream.

I entered college determined to be part of the publication and yes, I successfully became a member until I became the managing editor and online moderator. However, it wasn't an easy journey. At first, I'd always be disappointed with myself why they wouldn't publish my works. I wrote countless articles, fiction, and poems to see my art printed on the paper and most of all, see my name on it. Am I not good enough? Was my writing talent just a joke?

Being A Writer | Indie Spirit by Augustin Ra

Having a persevering attitude, I didn't stop. I kept on writing regardless if it was for the school or only for me. I believed in myself that I am good at this. I saw that I was improving. Reading my old blog posts when I was still on Tumblr, old essays since grade school and even my assignments and answers on essay questions on exams surprised me of how much I've improved. There was even one time that I added a quote of Aristotle on one of my essays and it made me question, "Where the fuck did I learn this quote?"

Then, one summer class came and I just happened to picked up the newspaper never expecting that my write ups would be published because I got used to it but as I was looking through the pages, I couldn't believe my eyes on what I saw. My write up, along with my name, was on the page. Not only one page but two. I couldn't contain my happiness. After this miracle, countless write ups were published on our school's paper and websites by other companies.

You know what's the sweetest thing that could ever be experienced from writing? It's not the work being published but the work being read and the reader would be touched and inspired. My words meant something. It has power. Lang Leav, a novelist and poet, said on the notebook above, "Remember, your words are your power. Never forget your words."  I didn't know posting my words online could be a life changing moment for someone. I couldn't believe it when my professors and schoolmates would admire what I wrote for the school's paper. It was a phase when I appreciated and loved myself more.

I received a gift from a reader two years ago if I'm not wrong and I asked what was the occasion. She happily told me that she was inspired because of my blog and she wanted to show it through giving me a gift which were books. And now, my manager surprised me by secretly giving me this notebook by Lang Leav. She noticed that I love writing so much and she wanted me to have it.

For a long time, I forgot the feeling of being appreciated with my talent. For some, it's not big of a talent because who would take time to read when every thing is instant and could be watched but I couldn't care less. This is so huge for me and my heart is crying because of happiness. It has been a long time that I reminded myself that I am a writer even without the validation of others that I am indeed one. I'm grateful for my manager for reminding me again. I am a writer, yes?

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