Writing was one of my insecurities and still is, but not in a greater scale now. Although, I might think that you're a better writer than me once in a while but I think that's a normal thing for an evolving individual. Of all talents that the world could provide for a human being, writing has always been a huge fascination for me. Why? Writers change lives just as much as other profession can but for me, words have an impact to all and it lives forever.
During my grade school years, writing activities were my thing. I didn't care if my grammar sucks so long as I was letting my thoughts flow. Since I was a kid and even until now, I still keep a journal and write all my scattered thoughts. I even made my own alphabet so no one could ever read what I was writing. I still can remember that I was in 3rd grade at that time. Thinking about it, I realized that I'd make any way just to make writing a possibility for me.
I always dreamed of being a writer especially a published author but insecurities like not being a master of excellent grammar intimidates me. There are also times I'd think if there are people out there who would love to read my writings just as much as keeping up with this blog. However, life goes on and I don't think of my insecurities that much but reverse it into a positive thing. Having those flaws didn't stop me from doing what I love so much. It made me pursue more despite being a published author is still a distant dream.
I entered college determined to be part of the publication and yes, I successfully became a member until I became the managing editor and online moderator. However, it wasn't an easy journey. At first, I'd always be disappointed with myself why they wouldn't publish my works. I wrote countless articles, fiction, and poems to see my art printed on the paper and most of all, see my name on it. Am I not good enough? Was my writing talent just a joke?
Having a persevering attitude, I didn't stop. I kept on writing regardless if it was for the school or only for me. I believed in myself that I am good at this. I saw that I was improving. Reading my old blog posts when I was still on Tumblr, old essays since grade school and even my assignments and answers on essay questions on exams surprised me of how much I've improved. There was even one time that I added a quote of Aristotle on one of my essays and it made me question, "Where the fuck did I learn this quote?"
Then, one summer class came and I just happened to picked up the newspaper never expecting that my write ups would be published because I got used to it but as I was looking through the pages, I couldn't believe my eyes on what I saw. My write up, along with my name, was on the page. Not only one page but two. I couldn't contain my happiness. After this miracle, countless write ups were published on our school's paper and websites by other companies.
You know what's the sweetest thing that could ever be experienced from writing? It's not the work being published but the work being read and the reader would be touched and inspired. My words meant something. It has power. Lang Leav, a novelist and poet, said on the notebook above, "Remember, your words are your power. Never forget your words." I didn't know posting my words online could be a life changing moment for someone. I couldn't believe it when my professors and schoolmates would admire what I wrote for the school's paper. It was a phase when I appreciated and loved myself more.
I received a gift from a reader two years ago if I'm not wrong and I asked what was the occasion. She happily told me that she was inspired because of my blog and she wanted to show it through giving me a gift which were books. And now, my manager surprised me by secretly giving me this notebook by Lang Leav. She noticed that I love writing so much and she wanted me to have it.
For a long time, I forgot the feeling of being appreciated with my talent. For some, it's not big of a talent because who would take time to read when every thing is instant and could be watched but I couldn't care less. This is so huge for me and my heart is crying because of happiness. It has been a long time that I reminded myself that I am a writer even without the validation of others that I am indeed one. I'm grateful for my manager for reminding me again. I am a writer, yes?
During my grade school years, writing activities were my thing. I didn't care if my grammar sucks so long as I was letting my thoughts flow. Since I was a kid and even until now, I still keep a journal and write all my scattered thoughts. I even made my own alphabet so no one could ever read what I was writing. I still can remember that I was in 3rd grade at that time. Thinking about it, I realized that I'd make any way just to make writing a possibility for me.
I always dreamed of being a writer especially a published author but insecurities like not being a master of excellent grammar intimidates me. There are also times I'd think if there are people out there who would love to read my writings just as much as keeping up with this blog. However, life goes on and I don't think of my insecurities that much but reverse it into a positive thing. Having those flaws didn't stop me from doing what I love so much. It made me pursue more despite being a published author is still a distant dream.
I entered college determined to be part of the publication and yes, I successfully became a member until I became the managing editor and online moderator. However, it wasn't an easy journey. At first, I'd always be disappointed with myself why they wouldn't publish my works. I wrote countless articles, fiction, and poems to see my art printed on the paper and most of all, see my name on it. Am I not good enough? Was my writing talent just a joke?
Having a persevering attitude, I didn't stop. I kept on writing regardless if it was for the school or only for me. I believed in myself that I am good at this. I saw that I was improving. Reading my old blog posts when I was still on Tumblr, old essays since grade school and even my assignments and answers on essay questions on exams surprised me of how much I've improved. There was even one time that I added a quote of Aristotle on one of my essays and it made me question, "Where the fuck did I learn this quote?"
Then, one summer class came and I just happened to picked up the newspaper never expecting that my write ups would be published because I got used to it but as I was looking through the pages, I couldn't believe my eyes on what I saw. My write up, along with my name, was on the page. Not only one page but two. I couldn't contain my happiness. After this miracle, countless write ups were published on our school's paper and websites by other companies.
You know what's the sweetest thing that could ever be experienced from writing? It's not the work being published but the work being read and the reader would be touched and inspired. My words meant something. It has power. Lang Leav, a novelist and poet, said on the notebook above, "Remember, your words are your power. Never forget your words." I didn't know posting my words online could be a life changing moment for someone. I couldn't believe it when my professors and schoolmates would admire what I wrote for the school's paper. It was a phase when I appreciated and loved myself more.
I received a gift from a reader two years ago if I'm not wrong and I asked what was the occasion. She happily told me that she was inspired because of my blog and she wanted to show it through giving me a gift which were books. And now, my manager surprised me by secretly giving me this notebook by Lang Leav. She noticed that I love writing so much and she wanted me to have it.
For a long time, I forgot the feeling of being appreciated with my talent. For some, it's not big of a talent because who would take time to read when every thing is instant and could be watched but I couldn't care less. This is so huge for me and my heart is crying because of happiness. It has been a long time that I reminded myself that I am a writer even without the validation of others that I am indeed one. I'm grateful for my manager for reminding me again. I am a writer, yes?
Writing never gets old eh? Once you have a thing for it, it will always be within you. I am always famish by your words like every time I read your works or simply what you thought about, I can't help but take it in and keep wondering how I could be like you. I myself love poetry and I hope I could be as good as you when it comes to writing excellently. :)
ReplyDeleteFrom one writer to another, I followed each word like a faith. The fact that words are powerful and can emotionally and mentally impact someone is one of the reasons why I write. Literature and language has been used for centuries to express and share ideas, and that's why I wanna be one of them. Your story is inspiring and as someone struggling with confidence and motivation to write, you truly have inspired me :)
ReplyDeleteLet's be friends and hope we can someday work together! <3
- nicole // www.nicolesmind.com
If you really have this passion for writing, it would never really gets old. I do agree. No matter how long you have been inactive with it, once you grab a pen and write, it would flow and the writing continues. Awwwe, stop it you! Haha. You're also good in writing especially poetry. You should go back to poetry. I still consider myself just a good writer, not an excellent one.
ReplyDeleteWords are more powerful than a gesture. Words touches our soul.
ReplyDeleteI was also a member of my high school's newspaper, The Beacon and because of that, I was able to join DSPC for three consecutive years. That's when I started to convince myself to keep on writing and express my feelings into writing. Grammar can be learned anytime but your words are your power to inspire people online including me. Keep pushing forward, Tin! I'm proud of you :)
Kai
http://kai-rafanan.blogspot.com
Of course you are a writer! You write! Congratulations on getting over your fears and obstacles and deciding to go for it! I feel that whenever you want to do something, you need to want it bad enough to do whatever it takes to improve. So if you're worried about grammar, find a course online or anywhere else and improve it. You got nothing to lose and everything to learn ;) Please keep inspiring us!
ReplyDeleteNatalia | Lindifique
Writing only ever comes easy whenever it comes from the heart. Always keep your passion burning <3
ReplyDeletewww.cae-a.com
Yes, indeed! You're truly right, Cae. Thank you! <3 I hope you will always do the same. I enjoy reading your blog posts. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Indeed, there's always this itchy feeling to always go for the extra mile and never settle for less. I hope I can do that as of the moment but I can't. The internet provider in our place couldn't provide but I hope when my family and I move in to a new place, there would be available internet connection so I could pursue more blogging and learn what I want to learn. :) Awwwe, you inspire me. <3
ReplyDeleteIndeed but I think that would be a case-to-case basis. Pag lovelife, action speaks louder than words na no? Charot!
ReplyDeleteAwwwe. Thank you for the support, Kai. I don't know what my life would look like if you weren't a part of it. I'm also proud of you, Kai. From your improvements in blogging and non-stop learning in every aspect of life, keep it up. :)
You are a writer indeed, my friend. If it's something that pushes you and intrigues your mind, you know it's a passion worth exploring. I think as writers, or people who enjoy writing, we can quickly feel demotivated or loose that fire inside us, so it's really important to have people around us and things that do remind us why we write in the first place. x
ReplyDeleteAwwwe, thank you so much, Nicole. I hope we get to know more of each other and I'd love to work with you in the future. I love, love, love reading your blog. It feels like listening to a dearest friend for the whole day and won't get tired of. Continue on writing! You inspire me in many ways you can never imagine. Haha! <3
ReplyDeleteMakes my heart swell. Thank you so much! <3
ReplyDeleteProps to you for keeping on keeping on! It can be difficult to persevere when you can't see the finish line, but more often than not, it's worth it. And it looks like it certainly has been for you! I agree that no official recognition means as much to me as knowing that my work has reached the thoughts of others; it's why I feel that blog comment sections are one of the most fulfilling parts of the blogosphere! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more, Leta. I am grateful for those people! <3
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate! When I started blogging, I only thought of expressing my thoughts and that's it. I'm already satisfied with that kind of thinking but when I received blog comments, that's when I felt more appreciated of what I've been blogging. I hope someday I'll be able to write my own book and reach others like you. Although, I'm still in doubt since I still picture it in a far future.
ReplyDelete